We are waiting for confirmation from our oncologist to see if our meeting with him on Wednesday also includes an avastin treatment. I assume that it will include avastin. I've come to realize that because of the virulent nature of my tumor that avastin is the only thing right now that will keep it in check. I'm afraid I'm going to have to deal with the side effects of the avastin for quite a while. Right now I'm probably dealing with the side effects of the tumor itself. I'm having trouble walking with stability and last Saturday I fell in the bathroom and bumped my head so have been dealing with a head ache and a scraped left arm. I came away from that discouraged because I have been trying to do a lot more to help out Dottie.
It is stretching my character to learn about selflessness. The only person I know that is perfectly selfless is Jesus Christ who exhibited perfect selflessness when He gave His life for us. I'm realizing the only way I can do this is because of His infusion of supernatural love. By His grace He has set me free to live out that supernatural love. But practicing it and exhibiting it is a stretch to my life every day. I easily get impatient and irritated especially when I'm really tired which I am a lot of the time. I know I'm in for a real huge challenge again in this next chemo session if it does the same as last time and knocks my hemoglobin level down. So pray for me that I will draw upon His supernatural strength and that I will exhibit His supernatural love. This is what I call taking faith to the edge without any back up plan.